Neil deGrasse Tyson :)

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Astrophysicist Badass Neil deGrasse Tyson Imagines A Horrifying Olympics On Mars

With the best Olympic-themed tweets since one Samuel L. Jackson, the world’s coolest astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium, Neil deGrasse Tyson, wondered out loud Thursday night what the Olympics would be like on Mars. It’s just like that SNL digital short “Space Olympics“, except it totally checks out scientifically and is hilarious and haunting all at once. I expect you to read the highlights from Dr. Tyson’s binge and immediately follow him. You will not be disappointed.

First, it’s worth noting that the impetus for Dr. Tyson’s Twitter rager was the news that the Mars Science Labratory arrives on the Red Planet to conduct tests in three days — right in the midst of the Olympic games. Have at it.

Yes Dr. Tyson, we agree. Now please, tell us more.

Well that would’ve made Michael Phelps’ quest for most decorated Olympian considerably more difficult.

And if you throw your matches, you get banished to Jupiter. Good luck trying to stand on a planet made of gas.

That is a terrifying image you just put in my head, Neil. I do not want to be part of an Olympics where female beach volleyballers can’t wear two-pieces.

Aside from that, I can totally buy into a Mars Olympics. The bid for 2020 hasn’t been chosen yet. There’s still hope.

Olympics on Mars? Neil deGrasse Tyson Imagines and Explains

Olympics on Mars

American Museum of Natural History Astrophysicist and StarTalk Radio host Neil deGrasse Tyson imagines the Olympics on Mars in a series of tweets Thursday.

With a robotic emissary from Earth speeding towards the red planet for a rendezvous Sunday, an eminent scientist took to Twitter to imagine the Olympics on Mars.

“The #MarsScienceLaboratory arrives at the RedPlanet in the middle of the #Olympics back here on Earth. Hmmm…How about a Mars #Olympics? Yes, all athletes would suffocate. Ignoring that complication — way cooler than Earth #Olympics,” wrote Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist with the American Museum of Natural History‘s Hayden Planetarium and Startalk Radio host, on Thursday.

Below are some of the events re-imagined. Have some of your own? Hit us in the comments.

If there was Swimming on Mars, the low temperature & low air pressure would force the pool to simultaneously freeze & boil.

If there was Cycling on Mars, try Olympus Mons — a volcanic mountain 5x taller than Mont Blanc in the Alps.

Like to Kayak white waters? Valles Marineris on Mars is nearly 10x the length of Arizona’s Grand Canyon.

With 1% of Earth’s air density, Badminton on Mars would be different — a shuttlecock to the face lands you in the hospital.

Rowing on Mars would log about the same race times. There’s hardly any movement with or against the 62% lower gravity there.

Women’s BeachVolleyball on Mars: No protective ozone layer there. Solar UV would irradiate all exposed legs, buns, & tummies

Gymnastics: On Mars, with only 38% of Earth’s gravity, the Vault & other spring-assisted leaps would resemble circus cannons.

Weightlifters, whose sole job is to raise barbells from planets that attracts them, on Mars achieve 2.6x their personal bests

Neil on Bill Mahers talking about mars.

Curiosity Rover’s first image, Gale Crater, MARS: A reminder of what it looks like “to boldly go”